Lots of chatcing up to do.

I have lots of blog catch up to play but I feel like if I don't blog about this feeling now I will forget and not have it to look back upon when I personally need it.


Personal Moment... now not so personal.

I woke up today not feeling that great. Went to the gym... felt worse (tummy bug? fever? anxiety?)... napped.. woke up feeling VERY ANXIOUS! Jed leaves to go get Cooper from school ... feel even more anxious... what the heck is this all about??? so frustrating.
** as this is going on Porter and Clara napping and then eating lunch (thanks to Jed). Keep this in mind Clara can get down from her chair all by herself, Porter cant.
I come up to my room to call Jed to tell me not to be anxious anymore and I am just sick and will be just fine. I hang up feeling a little better but not much. I pick up an Ensign (church magazine for anyone that may read this and not be LDS) I start thumbing through hoping to read something that will make me feel a little better. No specific inspiration sticks out so I start reading the visiting teaching message. It was great. Talked about how important our role is in families and communities. Started to feel better then....
You know the kid that cant get down from his chair by himself... loud crash... silence.... scream..... yep, mother of the year let her baby fall off his chair because I was having "a moment." I ran downstairs and grabbed him up and as I was holding him I started crying. Really... yes really I thought.
Then I realized with a prayer in my heart .... *hard to put into words, I will do my best* I am very important to my babies and they are thee MOST important possessions that I have and that I am a mother and a good one. Not perfect by any means but I will fall flat on my face... cry bc I am tired... laugh when things are too serious for me to handle..
BUT if I pray when I feel weak and unprepared to be the mother and wife I need to be or read scriptures to get inspiration it makes me feel better.
** Lesson of the day.... When things are at their daily worst ... say a little prayer.... it makes me feel better. I am grateful to have a Heavenly Father that loves me at my worst and best and shows me when I need it most.